A happy, hands-on, productive, and optimistic new mum? How is that even possible, you may ask? Yes, we know you are not Kim Kardashian or all the other celebrity new mums who seem to have this baby-rearing business all figured out, but who says you can’t live your best life too while saddled with an infant that demands 24/7 attention!
Dear new mum, you’ve got this. Follow these tips, and your mum-life will never be the same again!
- Do you Need Help? Ask for it
This might be a no-brainer, but the vast majority of new mums find it easier to sit on needles and pins than ask for the most mundane help. Maybe you need someone to spell it out for you, but nobody gives “super mom” awards. And neither is it a show of weakness to delegate duties or ask someone to watch your baby while you sleep.
There is only so much you can do as a mum. You don’t have superpowers; you are just like any other human who needs lots of rest to function. The moment you begin to practice “delegation” and saying the word “help”, you will feel better for it.
- Indulge in self-care
This is another tip that is out in the open yet elusive. The thing is, you become more productive and energetic when you take time out to relax and de-stress. If you are constantly exhausted and exasperated, your mental and physical health will take a hit which means fewer accomplishments. Self-care is as simple as taking mini-naps in the afternoon or slathering on your favorite skincare products.
- Avoid Comparisons
Don’t be fooled by the media’s portrayal of pristine-perfect new mums. Be it celebrities or your neighbour next door who is always dressed to the nines or your friend who continually shares makeup-laden and filter-perfect gorgeous photos of her and her baby, don’t be intimidated. Because you never know what goes on behind the scenes and neither do you share the same priorities and circumstances with these “diva” new mums. Comparison is a thief of joy. It is unhealthy and births negative emotions. Own your journey and focus on being the best and happiest you can be. Your story and theirs is not the same.
- Dedicate time to Leisure
Your baby isn’t here to take over your life completely, maybe a good portion of it, but not the whole of it. So don’t sacrifice the things you love to accommodate this new adorable human in your life. No, you are not selfish or a bad mum. It is called “healthy compromise”.
If you enjoyed watching movies or reading books before you got knocked up, there is no reason to cut off this leisure when your little one arrives. You can cuddle up together in front of the TV and watch your favourite shows. Get your partner, friend, or willing acquaintance to watch her while you go to the spa. And when she naps, take a nap too or do something you loved prepartum!
- Don’t Give in to Guilt.
This is the hardest of them all! That gut-wrenching and distasteful feeling that surfaces when you take time away from your baby ─ or that annoying voice in your head that constantly downplays and berates your efforts. But you know what? You are doing the best you can. Your baby is healthy, well-fed and clean.
So what if you can’t dedicate all of your 24 hours to her. So what if you sneak off to get ice cream or some much-needed “me” time. Your baby is happy, right? And you are too. See, it isn’t all that bad. The next time you feel like you are not doing enough or you are such a failed mum, scream it out; “I am an amazing mum and I rock”.
Just as babies deserve care, attention and love, so do their mums. As a new mum, you should prioritize your happiness and well-being. Take time out to relax and ask for help when you need it. Invest in caregivers if need be, and never compare your motherhood journey to anyone else’s. Your baby is awesome, and so are you!